What does elegance mean to you?
In the first part of Pursuing Elegance series, I mentioned that elegance can be defined in various ways. There are as many definitions of this term as people. To each of us, elegance means something else. However, it can be explained as cultivated beauty and taste.
Pursuing elegance is somehow magical – it costs you nothing, yet you earn so much when applied to your everyday life. It’s more about the attitude and mindset than about money. Elegance comes from within, from the work you put in yourself. It’s about how much you are willing to change, discipline yourself and stand up for yourself.
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Elegance is the mindful behaviour you practise each day. It’s restraining yourself from falling back into the old habits. Pursuing elegance means working on yourself to become a better you. It has nothing to do with pleasing other people or impressing them.
Let me present you with a new selection of tips on being more elegant regardless of your budget. These ten tips will cost you nothing.
Let people do things for you
When I was younger, I couldn’t simply accept help or signs of affection from others in many different ways. I felt guilty, uncomfortable and even indebted to people for doing such things for me.
Back then, I was deeply aligned with my masculine energy. I wanted to do everything myself. It took me a few years to realize there’s nothing to feel ashamed of when someone is affectioned towards you. And I don’t necessarily mean it romantically.
Things such as accepting compliments without persuading others they’re wrong, people opening and holding doors for you, people helping you take off your coat, people paying for your food, etc. Accept it and enjoy. Don’t feel indebted to anyone for treating your nicely. There’s no need for hard feelings or deep thinking. But don’t forget to say Thank you for such treatment. Being grateful is fundamental.
Restrain yourself from complaining
Complaining and gossiping take your energy away and lower your vibration. Imagine yourself in a company of people who only complain and spread rumours about everything and anything. How do they make you feel? Aren’t they draining your energy away? Do you enjoy listening to them?
Is there anything to learn from them? Do you want such people to accompany you in your daily life? Would you like to be referred to as a constant complainer and gossiper? Answer yourself honestly.
Be kind to others
It may be hard, but you shouldn’t judge the book by its cover. You never know what kind of life the others have and what they’ve been through. On the other hand, don’t let people sweep the floor with you. Try to be kind, calm and collected, but if people are still rude, feel free to be assertive and remind them of your boundaries.
Be on time. Don’t let people wait for you. Also, don’t arrive sooner, than expected. If you know you will be running late, inform the people you’re about to meet and apologize.
If there’s a time set, you should respect it. Imagine if there’s a dinner party held at 7 pm, but you show up at 6 pm. It’s not only rude, but the host/ess of the dinner party may feel uncomfortable and unpleasant because they can still be in the middle or preparing or have other things to do besides the dinner party and you just interrupted them. Without any prior notice, too.
Learn (at least) basic table manners
You don’t need to be able to decipher how to use all of the XY types of cutlery. But learning the basics can save you many times, not only when it comes to food. Some of the table manners are:
- wash your hands before sitting down / eating
- chew with mouth closed
- don’t talk with a full mouth
- keep your elbow off the table
- don’t re-apply your makeup at the table
- use napkins/tissues to wipe your mouth
- put your cutlery side by side if you’re done eating
- make a cross with your cutlery if you’re taking a break
- don’t start eating unless everyone has their food in front of them
- put your phone on silent mode (& keep it away from the table)
Don’t stare at people
Elegance is about minding your own business, too. Don’t make anyone else uncomfortable by your actions. Get in their shoes and think about how would you feel in that situation.
Don’t point out mistakes of others
Goes hand in hand with many points I’ve already discussed in elegance-related articles. If not asked to do so, why would anyone do it? Especially if it’s not something they can change in minutes.
Expand your vocabulary, find something to read everyday
Expanding our vocabulary will immediately turn you into refined lady. Great wait how to work on learning new words, phrases and how to gain general knowledge on various things is to read. Think about what you like to read and learn. What is your favourite genre? Do you prefer book, newspapers or perhaps, magazines?
Keep your home clean and tidy
There’s nothing elegant about a mess. Keep your home clean and tidy up regularly. Always put things in their place if you’re done with them. This way you will keep your home organized without almost any effort. When everything is in its place, there’s the energy flowing easily. People also feel more energetic, motivated and inspired in organized environments. A home is a business card of its owner.
More things to work on
If you’re still looking for some additional elegance tips, you can try these:
- pay respect to others
- work on your penmanship
- accept what you already have
- don’t seek other’s approval
- don’t try to change other people
- have clear values by which you live your life
- don’t worry about the things you can’t control
- create a budget for everything you need and want
- surround yourself with things you love and make your life easier
- don’t waste your time on social media, create the life of your dreams
That’s all for today, ladies ~
Hope you’ve had a lovely Sunday. See you in the next part.